Happy Birthday to me:

Nothing like meeting a new doctor on my birthday (October 29th).  Good thing I ended up liking the guy....he is a pain management doctor from Rehabilitation Physicians of Oklahoma.  Real nice.  I wasn't sure what all to expect from him when we first met.  I called my dad earlier that day asking all kinds of questions.  What to expect, what is the doctor going to do, what will happen with the first appointment, ect...

The appointment went the way dad said.  A lot of questions, poking, examining, more questions and then finally my MRI results (finally!).  According to the doctor my MRI wasn't all that bad.  It looks like I have arthritis in my neck (to be expected), fluid in a gland(s) and not sure why, and I have a tear on a disk.  He said according to the MRI I don't have anything pressing on a nerve (in the neck area).  He did a couple of tests and then told me that I have lost use in my right arm (duh).

He went a head and increased a couple of my meds and added a new one....Lyrica (http://lyrica.com).  After the car wreck I remember being put on Lyrica and it seems to me that I really didn't care for it back then.  However, at this point, I don't care...just fix me.  So far it hasn't been all that bad.  Last night was a bad night, but I'm sure that is to be expected with a new pill.  The doctor told me to start taking it at night and gradually get to where I'm taking it three times a day.  I took it that first night and woke up the next morning feeling wonderful.  Haven't felt that good in a long time.  So, I took one that morning and night.  The next day...not so good.  So far today...things are better.  I don't think I'm going to up it to three times a day until the weekend.  That way I can sleep if needed.

The next thing the doctor has added is physical therapy.  You should see the list of things he wants me to work on...crazy.  I'm to go 2-3 times a week for 4-6 weeks.  I have not problem with that.  I knew I had lost some use, just not sure how much.

I  had my physical therapy evaluation this morning (November 6th) and of course I cried.  You know, it was an eval, you shouldn't cry while being evaluated before you actually start the physical therapy.  Wrong, wrong, wrong, of course you cry lol.  You are being poked, stuck, pulled, turned, all sorts of things are happening so that the therapist can see what needs to be worked on.

I felt so good and comforted after my appointment (total sarcasm by the way).  Nothing like being told that one's neck is jacked up and my therapist doesn't know how on earth I have been able to go as long as I have.  He also didn't understand why I haven't been put in physical therapy before now.  I asked him if I should have been in therapy after my 2nd surgery and he said considering the problems I had post-op...yes.  He went on to say that it's easier to say that now.

I think the most frustrating thing for me is I have learned so much more since the 2 surgeries and treatment than what I was taught while going thru it.  Looks like I will learn even more after my doctors appointment on the 15th.  Gotta know what gland has fluid in it and why.

Stay tuned!

Another new doctor....or two:

As I mentioned in my last post I'm looking for a new endocrinologist (http://www.hormone.org/Public/endocrinologist.cfm) and I'm now under the care of a pain management doctor.

Why a pain management doctor you ask?  Great question and I will tell you.

When I first started my blog I had made mention that I was rear ended in 2006 and that I had a right neck dissection in 2008 (second cancer surgery).  I believe I also mentioned that since I have the right neck dissection that I have been in pretty consistent pain and have been having problems with my right side.  Well, the issues aren't going away and it's getting to the point that the medication I have been on isn't working.

Well, part of my family has been trying to tell me that they feel the issues is from the car wreck.  I don't discount that isn't a part of the problem, however I feel it's caused from the 2nd surgery.  My doctor who did the second surgery told me he would have to move a nerve that goes from my neck through my shoulder in order to get all the lymph nodes that needed to be removed.

Now my wonderful husband keeps telling me...remember the doctor that did the nerve burn did say that it's possible those nerves could grow back.  That was after the wreck.  I do remember the doctor saying that but I don't remember hurting then like I do now.  That's not to say the issues I'm having now aren't being caused by both.

However, I have been a member of a wonderful Thyroid Cancer Support Group on Facebook and have asked if any other Thyroid Cancer survivors/patients have had the same issue...I quickly found that I'm not alone.  I'm not sure how common or what all the side effects are.  All I know is I'm in pain...a lot and I'm not sleep and can't get comfortable at night.  I haven't been able to sleep on my right side for two years now, I'm getting headaches, I feel that I have lost strength in my right arm and I have tingling and numbness.  When there are weather changes and it's cold is when the problems are worse (arm burns, feels twice it's size and when the wind blows and hits the back of my neck it hurts). 

My my, I sound like a baby.  I'm not, I'm just tired of hurting.

I remember after the second surgery (might have already mentioned), I couldn't lift my right arm and it was hard to open my mouth to eat or talk.  Well, two plus years later I'm still having problems.  I honestly don't remember my doctor saying the problems/issues would be life long.  I thought it would be a temporary issue and would heal on it's own.  It hasn't.

I'm still numb from my jaw down my neck....has yet to return.  And the pain...well, lets just say there is pain.

Time for honesty.  My husband for the longest time didn't believe me when I said there were still certain areas the feeling hadn't returned.  I finally had to let him pinch me in the areas that are numb for him to believe me.  It was rather funny.  I also need to admit, at my previous job I freaked out a couple of student by doing the same thing to them.  Hey, they wouldn't believe me.  Okay, time to move on.

With all this, at my last doctors appointment I finally told my doctor that I have had enough.  Now that my meds aren't touching the pain it's time to do something.  So an MRI was ordered on done, they got the results, they referred me and sent my paperwork to the pain management doctor and I have an appointment on the 29th.  The 29th can't get here fast enough!  I'm hopeing and praying I get some answers and this doctor will be able to help me.

Grand...another doctor and I still have yet to find an endocrinologist.

Not sure what else to say.  I keep thinking that cancer is the gift that keeps giving.  I hate cancer.

Stress....what stress?

I know it's been a while since I have last posted...so let me try to get you caught up.

July 16th, 2012 my mom had a heart cath done.  We (my dad and I) have been discussing for sometime that we knew something was right with mom.  We just wasn't all that sure what.  In March 2012 (actually March 11th), my dad and I took mom to the doctor.  At that time she was told she had bronchitis.  She was put on meds and was on her way to feeling better.  She did improve some but not alot.  Then the coughing started back up.  No other symptoms, just coughing.  She finally made an appointment with her primary care doctor and he immediately started a battery of tests.  He thought she was going into congestive heart failure.

More test were ordered, she was sent to a cardiologist and he said....your having a heart cath done Monday.  And that was that.  She went in and come to find out she had three arteries clogged.  Two of them they were able to balloon and the third they had to put a stint in.  The difference was night and day.  When mom came out she looked happier, her skin was brighter...she was just better.  She had to stay in the hospital over night and was able to go home the next day.

Got her home, ran some errands for her and dad...then I finally went home.  Around 7:30/8:00 that evening my hubby comes home for lunch.  He didn't look right.  I was trying to have a conversation with him but I felt like he was holding three at the same time.  I finally asked him to stop and when he looked at me I felt like I was looking into space.  There was no emotion and his eyes were vacant.  I told him we were going to the ER.  He said why and I told him I thought he had heat exhaustion.  After making some calls and after his shower (yep, he wanted to shower before we went) we were out the door. 

Side note:  Did I mention I was also in the process of throwing my parents a surprise anniversary party?  Yep, started planning around March however now the party is less than a month away and now mom has had a heart cath and I have hubby in the ER.  Ugh...

As expected...Paul had heat exhaustion AND dehydration (not expected).  They hooked him up to an IV, ran some tested and then we were able to go.  The rest of that week for hubby was crazy.  Between trying to get better and the drama that unfolded for his job...you would have thought the end of the world was near.

So now I'm dealing with trying to get hubby better, his work drama, making sure mom is doing okay and finishing up with the party.  But wait, it gets better (keep following, I promise it will tie together)...I'm not sure where you all are however in Oklahoma we haven't been getting a lot of rain.  Lack of rain causes droughts...droughts cause fires.  So, on top of everything else, fires break out here in Oklahoma and one of the fires isnt' all that far from my sisters house.  A week before our parents 40th Surprise Anniversary Party....oh joy.

Finally the weekend of mom and dad's party.  It was awesome.  I was so happy and proud of my parents.  With everthing that has happened over the past few years they deserved to be celebrated.

Happy 40th Mom and Dad!!!!

I couldn't have been more proud or happie with the way my parents party turned out.  With all the work that myself, my sister and Sister Laureene (friend of the family) put in it...including up to the last minute it was wonderful.

Now for the truth...I couldn't have been more happy that everything was finally over.  By the end of my parents party, mom haveing the heart cath, my hubby ending up in the er and his work drama...I was wore out.  I use to be able to deal with this type of stress and not be bothered by it.  Now, I get wiped out...sick...hurt, you name it and more than likely I deal with it.  Ugh, it's so frustrateing.  After mom and dads party I went home and slept for a couple of hours.  Went to church the next day, came home and slept a couple of more.

Oh...did I mention the day before mom and dad's party I got a letter from my endocrinologist informing his patients that he got a job at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota?  Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for him but at the same time I'm so sad.  Loved my doctor...for the first time since all this started I felt like I finally had someone who understood me and what I was saying.  Now I get to find someone new.  Oh Joy (as my dad would say).

Three Years Cancer Free:

It was towards the end of September 2009.  Paul and I were heading back to the Stillwater Cancer Care Center to get my six month test results.  We were about to find out if I was cancer free or not.

Thankfully football was in full force and I was able to stay busy enough to where I was thinking about it to much.  Wait, that's a lie...no matter how busy one is you always think about.  Awake, asleep, it doesn't matter.  Whether or not you are cancer free will always be on your mind.

Paul and I had talked several times what we would do if the cancer was still there.  The scan I had after treatment still showed cancer.  My oncologist at the time said that was normal and that more than likely the residual cancer that is still there would be gone by the time I did the six month scan.

Have I ever mentioned that I'm not all that patient of a person and that I hate waiting?  One thing I have totally learned from this whole cancer thing is that you hurry and wait.  Not matter what it is.  Blood work, CT Scans, Ultra Sounds, Whole Body Scans...all you do is wait and I'm not that good at it.  Worry comes with waiting and all I did is worry.  Football games help distract me but I still went crazy.

For some reason I don't remember the exact day I got my results.  I remember the dates of both surgeries and treatment but I don't remember the date I got my scan results.  One would think I would but, oh well.

It's time for my appointment and I was as nervous as could be.  We got there, checked in, paid my co-pay and we waited.  Finally it was my turn.  I went back into the examining room, my nurse checked my blood pressure, temp, went over my medication list and said that the doctor will be in.  So we waited some more.  My doctor came in.

Now I don't remember what all he said.  Truthfully I don't have a clue.  The only words I remember is....there was no cancer found.  After he said that I was cancer free he did go on to explain that our goal was to get me to being scanned once every five years.  So far I have been scanned every year.

Earlier this year I decided to celebrate being cancer free early.  As you know back in December we had a scare that the cancer was back.  So in April I got a tatoo stating that I'm a cancer survivor.  Maybe I should have waited, but I figure....I have a scar I don't want, had a scare that the cancer returned, so I'm getting some ink.  Oh, and since I'm not a 100% percent sure what day I was told I'm cancer free.....I'm celebrating all month long.

Don't forget that September is Thyroid Cancer Awareness Month.  Don't forget to check your neck!

Random Ramblings:

There are times that you feel like nothing but a guinea pig.  All you do is get stuck, probed, tested....it's insane.  At times I feel like doctors don't care how much it costs you...they just want to run tests.  Yes, I know there are reasons for the tests to be done but come on, sometimes enough is enough.  Yes, it totally stinks to have cancer.  Actually it sucks.  When you are first diagnosed you go through so many scans, tests, blood work, ect.  I quickly got over my fear of needles.  At times it feels like getting to that five year mark will never come.  Each time I think I get to start counting the years in between scans something happens that I have to be scanned.

I understood the scan after treatment, the six month scan and the year scan.  I even understood the next one year scan.  Cancer cells were found in the lymph nodes, so we had to continue to be aggressive.  After that scan came back clean I was all excited.  Finally get to start counting the years.  Wrong, my blood work came back showing the cancer was trying to come back which means another scan.  Ugh, so tired of this.  There comes a time you just feel like throwing up your hands and saying your done.  Done done done.  But you can't.  You have to keep fighting and deal with cards your delt. 

One of the biggest lessons I have learned through all of this is cancer doesn't care what social class your in, your age, sex, race, ect.  Cancer can attack anyone. 

When all this started, I got so tired of hearing...if  you are to get cancer thyroid cancer is the best one to have.  It is so easy to manage and get rid of.  All I could think, you aren't the one going through it.  Your not the one who is currently dealing with this.  So please stop saying it!  Of course, I never said a word and just sat there listening.

Not long after I had the first surgery and was diagnosed with cancer, something crazy happened to me.  I was at the December Graduation Reception and was talking to a student.  I honestly don't remember how the conversation started but we got to talking about me having thyroid cancer and I was about to have surgery number two.  I told her that my oncologist wasn't going to let me have treatment until I had a right neck dissection.  She then told me her mom was going through the samething.  Her mom was about to have her thyroid removed.  She asked how I discovered I had cancer and then introduced me to her mom.  I got to share my story and answer some questions for her.

I got back to work from haveing surgery number two, left again for treatment, returned again then a few weeks later found out a student was diagnosed with cancer...then a few months later had another student diagnosed (niether on had the type of cancer I had).  Considering I just went through it I was also able to help them.  If nothing else I could be there to listen to them when they needed to talk, scream, vent...whatever they needed. 

Even now through my blog and talking about it on twitter I have been able to help people.  It's amazing how God has been able to use to me to help other people.  Even though for a while I was mad and angry for getting cancer and to some degree blamed God, I have been able to turn it into a testimony.  I have to admit, my parents and friends kept telling me that would happen. 

The biggest problem I had was dealing with the scar.  Ugh, I hatde the scar.  To me it's so noticeable (well at the time).  Of course I was told it wasn't, but I always thought you had to be blind not to see it.  The looks...oh my the looks I would get after the surgeries and treatment.  Strangers would always ask what happened.  There was one guy who worked at a gas station asked me if the person who caused it was behind bars and if I left the jerk.  There was another time in Feburary 2009 about a week or so before treatment I was at a hotel (hubbies sisters and a couple of friends came to Oklahoma) and a friend of my hubbies was causeing a scene and some other people also staying at the hotel called security.  While Paul was talking to one cop another one asked me what happened.  Nothing like 20 questions caused by thyroid cancer.  It also seemed like, just when I was finally comfortable about the scar, I would be asked what happened.  My poor husband would get so frustrated with me.  He kept telling me it's not noticable, but everytime I looked in a mirror all I saw was the horrible scar.

It's just recently I haven't really noticed the scar and I can actually joke about it.  I was told about a year or so ago that I should view it as a victory scar.  I now understand what was being said.  See, all I could see was an ugly scar.  Now it's a beautiful scar...a battle that I won, with God's help.

Is the Cancer back????

Started working at my new job in January 2012.  About a week or so later I went to Mercy to get my scan results.  That was the longest week.  I was so scared...all I could think was what if the cancer is back.  I of course went back to my Aunt Sharon.  It came back with her and she passed.  I didn't want to go through all that again.  No matter what I did, I couldn't turn my mind off.  All I could do was think; what if it did come back, what if I had to have surgery again, what if I had to go through treatment again...what if, what if.  Playing the what if game does get annoying...

Time for the appointment.  Paul and I decided afterwards we would go eat at our favorite Mexican resturant in Edmond and we were going to hook up with my best friend Pam.  Getting with Pam is always fun.  My name gets called...Paul and I head back and wait for the doctor to come in.  Ugh, time was moving so slow.

The doctor finally came in.

Paul and I were sitting there listening to the doctor as he started to go over the results.  The doctor said my scan is clean...there is no sign of cancer.  Praise the Lord!!!! No cancer!!!  The he said that there must have been a mix up in the lab.  My tumor marker back in December was at 4.7, meaning that the cancer was coming back.  In January when they did it again it was a .7...the doctor said that just doesn't happen.  In my opinion...yes it does.  It's the power of prayer.  It was a miracle.  I know that God healed me.

The doctor wanted to go a head and do a CT Scan and an Ultra Sound just to make sure everything really is gone. 

The CT Scan was interesting.  I'm allergic to the iodine contrast they use and of course I ended up with side effects.  But, it came back clean and that is all that matters.  I'm suppose to do the Ultra Sound in November.

Vacation+Fiesta Bowl+Low-Iodine Diet=Ugh

Time to head to AZ for the Fiesta Bowl.  So excited!!!  Oklahoma State finally won our first Big 12 Championship and we are headed to our first BCS game and I get to go! Coming home wont be fun, but hey...sometimes you have to pay a price.

Paul and I got to AZ.  It is beautiful!!!  We met up with my unlce and I was kidding with him that it took a football game to finally visit.  While we were there the weather was perfect and we never had any problems with allergies.  We had a great time.  We stayed in Scottsdale which seemed to be the hub for everything.  Shopping, eating, you name it...they had it.  We ate a lot of Mexican food and did try to see some sites.  My uncle also drove us around and showed us where the Suns and the Diamondbacks play.  He also showed us how to get from the hotel to the Arizona Cardinals stadium.  We didn't have to fight traffic!! 

On the day of the game hubby and I went looking for health food stores.  I needed to get stocked up for the trip home because I wouldn't be able to stop and eat being on the low-iodine diet.  We finally found a big health food store and I told Paul that I wished we had a store like that in Stillwater.  We dropped off the food (fruit, nuts, rice cakes, Sierra Mist, water, ect..), got dressed and headed to the game. 

We got to the stadium, looked around and then went to find our seats and guess who I saw....my new boss.  He was sitting a few rows behind Paul and I.  So, I went to say hi and decided to tell him about the cancer and that there is a chance it was back.  I apologized for not saying anything about it during the interview but I wasn't sure if it was proper or not to bring it up at that time.  He told me he already knew and it wasn't a problem.  Health and family come first.  What a relief.  I was so scared it would end up being a problem.  I mentioned when the dates were and that most everything would be over before I started the job.  I would need time off to get my results but that was all.

Side note:  what a great game.  Oklahoma State won it's first BCS Championship....yes I am very proud of my Alma Mater!

Sometimes the truth hurts....

It was late when we got back to the hotel and we knew it was going to be hard to get to sleep.  We had to because we planned to get up early for that long drive ahead of us, but we were still too excited from the win.  Considering I had to start the diet on the way home we made the decision to drive straight through.  The only stops would be for gas and to use the restroom.  Paul decided to be on the diet with me that way he wouldn't be eating "regular food" in front of me.  He is so awesome. 

The time came to start making the trips back and forth to OKC.  Blood work, Thyrogen injections, tracer dose then the scan.  I think I made four trips back and forth in one week.  I got to talking to the tech guy that gave me the injections and I told him I was excited Mercy had the Thyrogen.  He told me that they had the largest Thyroid Cancer popultion in state of Oklahoma.  I wish I knew that when all this started.  He went on to say they did there best to always have it in stock and they already had a protocol in place for situations where medications were in shortage.  After hearing that, I was so thankful I was turned over to my new doctor.

I loved doing the scan at Mercy it was so much better than doing it at Stillwater Medical Center.  Not that the bed you lay on for a scan is comfortable but at Mercy I wasn't strapped in like at Stillwater Medical Center.  It was so much more comfortable and they played music.  They didn't at SMC.  The overall expericence at Mercy compared to SMC was just better.  So now that the scan was done we sit and wait for the results and start my new job.

Starting the job helped me get my mind off the possibilty that the cancer had returned.  Going home was hard....I would sit and think.  I just couldn't imagine that the cancer had returned.  Considering everything I went through finding out I had cancer I started making plans in case I had to have surgery or go through treatment again.  I wouldn't be able to stay at the apartment if treatment was the choice.  We now live in a one bedroom apartment and there would be no way for Paul to stay away from me.  He also wouldn't be able to stay anywhere because it was basketball and wrestling season and he would have to work.  I thought that since I'm now under the care of Mercy I felt I would be able to be in the hospital during treatment...if need be.  I quickly learned to expect the worse and hope for the best.

Well, time to make another trip to the city to get the results...