Day of Surgery:

Surgery was scheduled for Wednesday, November 5th, 2008.  My ENT explained that they will cut my Thyroid in half and send it to pathology to have it tested.  Depending on the results say, that will determine if I go home that night or will have to stay in the hospital a couple of days and if I will   have to be on Synthroid or not.  If the nodule tested cancer (yep, still a possibility) they will have to remove it all and put me on the medicine, if it is clean I can function fine with just half a Thyroid and would be able to go home the same day.

The prep was so fun (sarcasm)...I had to go to Stillwater Medical Center to do paperwork, blood work and meet with one of the surgical nurses a couple of days before.  I was instructed that the night before and the morning of I had to do a special scrub of my neck area, no food or water after midnight, you know all the fun pre-surgery stuff.  Surgery was scheduled for noon and I had to be there about an hour or so before.  I was so nervous, even though the biopsy was clean I knew that there was still the possibility of cancer.  I also hated that surgery was scheduled for noon, I was hungry and couldn't eat and of course I couldn't sleep in.  So, I got up did some cleaning, got dressed, got Paul up and ready and the we left for the hospital.  I didn't pack an overnight bag because the biopsy was clean so didn't think I would need one.

Paul and I got to the hospital and we were greated by my parents, sister, Pastor and our Music Minister Charlie.  I checked in and was escorted back to the room to get ready.  I changed into a surgical gown, had an iv put in and waited.  My little room was then filled with visitors...my family, Charlie and Pastor rotated through to visit before surgery.  Pastor and Charlie was the last group of people to see me and before I was rolled back they came in and prayed with me that surgery would be well and that God would guide the doctor and nurses.  In which we all knew God would.  Then the last person I saw was Paul, we gave each other a kiss and said see ya after.

I was then given the happy shot (if you have had surgery you know what I'm talking about) and was rolled into the surgery room.  Now, I have no idea how long I was back there, but I do remember waking up at some point and asked the nurse how it went, am I going home that day.  The nurse said, no honey they found cancer and then she said, she is about to go again.  Apparently I had already thrown up once...I did it again.  Next thing I remember is being in an elevator on my way to my room.

My parents, husband and I have talked about that day several times.  And, from what I have been told it seemed like the surgery took forever.  While they were waiting they had recieved one phone call and they were told at that time they had removed half the Thyroid and it was in pathology being tested.  They never heard anything again until the doctor came out.  When he finally did, he announced that I did in fact have cancer and they removed the Thyroid (http://www.webmd.com/cancer/tc/thyroid-cancer-topic-overview) and a lymph node.  From what I understand my poor husbands face went blank.  My mom and sister cried and our awesome Pastor jumped up and asked the doctor what he was talking about...and it was either Pastor or my dad (could have even been mom) ask, but you said no cancer...the biopsy was clean.  The doctor then responded..I was wrong, I missed the nodule.  Wait, you missed the nodule...what do you mean.  The doctor said, sometimes it happens.  He then turned and walked out of the waiting room.

From what I understand everyone stood, sat, not sure what...in shock.  I'm not sure if they got a call or someone went to the waiting room to tell them I was on my way to my room but dad said he stopped the family and told Paul to go ahead of everyone.  Dad felt Paul and I needed a few minutes alone.  Dad said he no more got the words out of his mouth and Paul was gone.  I remember being rolled off the elevator and seeing my husband.  He face was just plain...not really any emotion.  He kept saying everything will be fine and that I had cancer.  I told him I knew, the nurse told me.  Next thing I knew was being helped off the gurney onto the hospital bed and the nurses were helping me change out of the surgical gown and into a regular hospital gown.

After all the nurses left the family came in.  At the foot of my bed was my sister, cousin Cheryl (not sure when she got there) and mom crying (my mom's nose was red, it always turns red when she cries), my dad and Paul was on the side of the bed.  Everyone kept saying everything will be fine, we will get through this.  They stayed for a few minutes then left so I could get some rest.  Paul stayed a little longer with me, the nurses helped him move a chair closer to the bed so we could be close.  He sat there, holding my hand while I dosed off and on while watching tv.  I do remember asking Paul if he called my boss and a couple of friends, he said he had talked to everyone and after about an hour or so,  he left and I was alone slepping.

Mom and Dad came back that evening.  I was kinda shocked considering it was a Wednesday night, I figured they would be at church.  As I'm typing this, I can't remember if Paul was back at the hospital or not.  I kinda remember us having a conversation on if he was going to work or not.  Considering he works nights and he figured I would be sleeping...so we decided that he would...wait, I can't say I don't remember.

I do remember thinking my timing was really bad.  Mom and dad were living with grandpa (dad's dad) and grandpa had been in and out of the hospital alot that year.  About a week or two before my surgery he was released after having a pace maker (first surgery I ever remember grandpa having) put in and now we are all here in the hosptial because of me.  Here, I was just diagnosed with Stage II Papillary Thyroid Cancer (http://thyca.org/types.htm#2u45) and people would worry about me when we (family) should be concentrating on grandpa getting better and instead, I'm facing cancer...ugh, good job Shar.

Mom, dad and I were sitting around talking.  We talked about the cancer, how we felt about it, tried to figure out what Thyroid Cancer was, and we kept reassuring eachother that everything would be fine.  Then I started feeling my kneck area.  The way I felt, I really thought I had some type of neck brace on.  So much bandage.  My mom hit nurse mode (she has been a nurse for over 30 years) and she kept saying how much she wants the bandages off so she could see what they did.  I really do think she was actually sitting there trying to figure out a way the bandages off so she could see the insinsion.

The next day hit and I finally was able to have a sponge bath and I got to eat (since I threw up after surgery I was on a liquid diet).  The sponge bath was fun!!! NOT.  Thankfully my sister was there to help.  I washed myself and she helped with my hair.  Nothing like taking a sponge bath with ones neck immobile and being hooked up to an iv.  My dear poor sister, she was so scared to help with the hair, she was so afraid of hurting me.  All I could think is I felt nasty and had something in my hair and I wanted it out. 

I was so thankful when Evelyn, a co-worker of mine who had Thyroid Cancer came up to see me, she was so much help.  She sat for a while and talked about Thyroid cancer.  She told me what I was facing, explained the medication, talked about treatment, she gave any type of information she felt would be helpful.  God has perfect timing and knows when and who to send into someone's life.  When the nurse came in to take my vitals and give me my meds Evelyn left (I think my sister left about the same time).  As the nurse was about to leave to she informed me that the doctor would be in to discuss the diagnosis and let  me know what the next step would be.  She suggested that I call in whoever I  need to so he could talk to me and the family.  See, I'm still medicated (pain pills) and someone needed to be there to hear everything...I would have questions later.  Boy, was she right.  I must say, the nurse I had while in the hospital was awesome.  She printed off information about Thyroid cancer, answered any and all questions I had...I really appreciated her.  Paul, mom, dad and grandpa showed up to see the doctor when he arrived but for some reason right now, I don't remember seeing the doctor.  I really don't remember if he ever showed up or not.

I was so excited that I got to go home on Friday....but the doctor took forever to get to the hospital to discharge me.  It was sometime late in the afternoon before he finally showed up and took off the bandages.  Now mom was excited, she finally got to see what all the doctor did.  I have about a 4-6 inch scar on the bottom of my neck with stapels and sterry stripes (to keep them clean) holding the skin together so it can heal.  I was so happy to have the bandages off.  At least I could finally  move my head a little easier.  Mom and dad loaded me up in the car and Paul went to get my perscriptions filled and pick up dinner.

Finally, I'm home.  I can finally shower, wash my hair and sleep in my own bed.  Sleeping was great...you  never realize how much you use any part of your body until you can't use it.  I also never realized how much I used that triangle bar on the hospital bed until I was home either.  It was so hard crawling in and out of bed.  My neck hurt so bad and it was so hard to get comfortable.

Football season that year was such a great distraction, then came basketball.  I found myself doing what I could to stay busy and not think about the cancer.  I remember some conversations I had with Paul...one in particular.  I told him if he wanted to leave he could.  He didn't marry me to deal with cancer.  I know the vows say in sickness and in  health, but you never think you will get cancer.  How did I get Thyroid Cancer in the first place.  Paul told me to shut up, stop talking like that and that everything would be fine.  I know I kept saying sorry, he really didn't have to stay, and he once again said; Sharlene if you don't stop talking that way...I finally caved and moved on.  I also remember feeling like I had to be the strong one.  Whenever I was asked how I was doing, I also said fine...great...couldn't be better.  Then I would go home and cry, play games, whatever it took to keep my mind occupied.  There were times I would break down with mom, dad and Paul...but I would my best not to let it last to long...I had to be strong.

The worst part was everything around me seemed so busy and I was moving in slow motion. I felt like I couldn't keep up with anything.  Bills, appointments, work, friends, family...everyone was moving at such a fast pace and I was lagging behind.  My best friend often tells me whenever I'm talking football she feels like she is in a Charlie Brown cartoon and the teacher is talking...all she hears is wawa waaw waaw wawa.  That is how I felt at times...all I knew is I had cancer.  I wasn't suppose to have cancer.  Don't get me wrong....my friends, family, church family, co-workers were great.  They are awesome, I just didn't want people to know how I was doing.  Most of my friends and family will tell you that they knew the truth..........even if I didn't say a word.

The day came to take the staples out.  That was easy...the next step was meeting my oncologist.