Surgery #2:

At some point between the first surgery and meeting with the new doctor, I ended up seeing my primary care doctor.  I told her about my frustrations with the whole cancer thing and she suggested putting my on some anti anxiety medicine.  I of course turned her down.  I didn't need it....I have a great family, great church family and awesome friends.  I didn't feel that I needed to be medicated...I was just fine.  Looking back, I wish I would have.

It's around the first of December and I'm meeting with my new doctor to get the ultra sound results...and again the test was fine.  I was once again given two options...either drive back and forth every three to six months for testing or have a second surgery to remove the lymph nodes.  Ugh, what a decision.  I didn't want to go through another surgery, but I didn't want to drive back and forth having tests ran....after awhile, you start to feel like a test dummy.  The doctor didn't feel that I needed a right neck dissection but the oncologist wouldn't let me go through treatment unless I had the surgery.  Ugh, this was so frustrating.  What was the right decision?  Surgery or no surgery.

My poor husband was so tired.  Like I said earlier, he works nights and I'm on days.  He got up early to go see the doctor with me.  At start of the appointment we were excited that I didn't have to have the surgery, then came the crushing blow.  My doctor went and called the oncologist to let him know about the results and that he didn't feel I needed surgery....well, the oncologist said NO.  I had to have the right neck dissection or no treatment.

Paul kept telling me to hurry and make up my mind.  He even went as far to say I wanted the surgery so just do it.  All he cared about was getting back home and get some sleep before he had to go back to work.  I understood...I really did.  He was tired and had a long night ahead of him, but I couldn't make up my mind.  We sat and talked, debated, discussed and weighed our options for about three or four hours.  It was crazy.  I was so thankful for having doctor willing to take that kind of time with me.

Everytime I thought about being tested every few months....it just never felt right.  There was this uneasy feeling I had...I guess you could say that I knew what I needed to do but I just didn't want to admit it.  I tried to explain that to Paul, but he just wanted to leave.  My poor doctor did everything possible to convince the oncologist that surgery wasn't needed, like I said he wouldn't cave.  Then my doctor came up with a third option...leave the Stillwater Cancer Care Center and transfer all my paperwork to OU Medical Center and basically start over.  We seriously considered that...but considering what winter can be like in Oklahoma, I felt driving back and forth could be trouble. 

Then came the more details on what kind of surgery I was facing.  The doctor would re open part of the old scar and make it longer.  He will take out the lymph nodes on the right side of the neck down part of the shoulder.  He would also have to move the major nerve in order to get to the lymph nodes in the shoulder area and then move the nerve back.  He was not able to guarantee that I wouldn't have any problems with my right side.  He said I could have some numbness, pain and have a hard time with my right arm for a little while....or it could never get better.  Each patient is different.  I looked at Paul, I asked what he thought...he said it was up to me.  I looked at the doctor and said...lets do it.

We were able to schedule the surgery for December 15th.  First, I was shocked it would be that soon.  Second, I wouldn't  have to burn to much leave since I will be off during part of Christmas break and campus closes for about a week.  Since we were already in the City, I was able to go and have some of the pre-op stuff done.  Did the paperwork, blood work, some xrays...next time we are in the City will be surgery day.

Surgery was scheduled for 7:00/7:30 am and I had to be there around 6:00 am.  Hubby and I decided it would be best if we stayed the night before that way we wouldn't have to get up to early to drive to OU Medical Center.  We got to the City and hooked up with his sister Cathy for dinner, went back to the room to chill.  I really think I was more nervous about this surgery than the first one.  Oh well, nothing I can do about it now.

Morning came, got up and headed to the hospital.  Got checked in and in walks my mom, dad and sister.  I went back to my room, got changed for surgery, iv started and the door started rotating.  Next thing I knew my awesome Pastor and his wife came in.  We prayed and back Paul and I went.  I'm not sure what to call this but first I was in the room I changed in, then Paul and I went to a pre-surgery type room (happy shot time)...we gave each other a kiss and I was rolled into another surgery.

 Next thing I knew I was being woke up in recovery and I wasn't feeling well.  I had a headache, I was hot, just not feeling great at all.  The nurse took my temp and it was 102.  I was in recovery for a while...they were trying to get my temp down.  I finally left recovery and went to my room, not to long after the doctor came in and said I could go home.  Considering I wasn't feeling great I decided to stay in the hospital overnight.  Why not, it was already paid.

My sister and parents left and I was finally sent to a room and slept.  At some point Paul had left go see a buddy.  I woke up and was hungry so I ordered some food then I noticed this drain coming out of my neck with a ball on the end.  What on earth is this...about that time I had a friend come see me and my food was delievered.  I felt bad eating in front of my friend but I was hungry,  I went to take a bit and couldn't open my mouth....it was so crazy.  Trying to chew my food was fun and talking was some work out.  Did I mention it was also hard to lift my arm?  The doctor said I could have some trouble but I wasn't expecting this.  It was such an insane night.

It was around 7:00 or 8:00 that evening and the doctor came in.  He asked how I was feeling and I said better then he told me he got the pathology report back.  He said I made the right decision on having the surgery.  Out of 29 lymph nodes that were removed they found cancer cells in eight.  So out of two surgeries I had 30 lymph nodes removed, cancer was found in one and cancer cells were found in eight.  Hmm, and all the tests came back saying things were fine.  You can't tell me that God wasn't directing me in what to do. 

I got to go home that next morning.  The fever was gone and I was feeling better and we were trying to get back to Stillwater before the ice hit.  We got home just in time.  Paul dropped me off at home and he once again went to get my perscriptions filled and pick dinner.  I wanted to shower but had to wait for him to get back.  Once he did he had to help me get undressed, I got in the shower and then tried to figure out what to do with the drain.  I couldn't hold it, couldn't set it anywhere to set it so I put it in my mouth.  Yes, I clinched it with my teeth so I could shower.  Have you ever had to shower with one arm?  It is one of the most difficult things to do.  Then I tried to wash my hair, that wasn't any easier.  I got out, Paul helped me put on a tee shirt and he had to help dry my hair.  I thought my sister helping me after surgery number one was funny, you should have seen Paul.  Then I asked the impossible...I asked him to help brush it AND put it in a pony tail.  Trust me, I was ready for my arm to heal.  It really was funny.

We went back to get the stiches out and the drain removed.  I finally could wear a shirt without a pocket to put the drain in.  Getting the stiches out wasn't that big of a deal.  The drain on the other hand was.  The doctor cut the stiches and said, on the count of three I'm going to pull it out.  Are you ready?  I said yes, one...two....three and he pulled and pulled and pulled.  Paul's eyes kept getting bigger and bigger and that is when I started to freak.  After the doctor was finished Paul asked...how did all that fit?  The tube was long.  I got up, we started walking out and I got light headed and felt like I was going to pass out.  I sat down for a few minutes and then we left.

Now that the second surgery is over, I can finally go through treatment.  I had a couple of more trips to the City just to make sure everything was healing okay.  I was ready to move on and get this cancer stuff over with.  The past few months have been crazy, I'm done and over it.  I was feeling like my life was on hold and there was nothing I could do about it.  What's worse...I love Christmas.  It's my favorite holiday but I didn't even care....but my husband did.  He knew I loved putting out all the decorations, a tree and shopping for my family.  He pushed me that year.  I didn't want to get a tree or put out the decorations but he made me.  I really love that man.  He took me to church so I could attend Christmas service...we both knew it would be to soon but I wanted to go.  My family was also willing to wait to have Christmas after I felt better, but I didn't want to wait.  It's Christmas and I didn't want everything put on hold because of me.  Paul and I also decided to go ahead and go to the bowl game.  Oklahoma State played Ole Miss in the Cotton Bowl.  Like I said, I didn't want everything to be put on hold.

The next step was treatment and the fun of the low-iodine diet.